Here's What Kind of Soup I Think Each Member of U2 Would Be
The answers may surprise you!
Everybody knows that U2 is a great band. But what kind of soup would each member be? Here’s what I think.
Larry Mullen, Jr.: Chicken soup with orzo. Some people might be thinking, “What about chicken with rice or chicken noodle?” Those are great soups and nobody can ever take that away from them. Chicken with rice, for example, makes a lot of sense for Larry. It’s a solid workingman’s soup, just like Larry is a solid workingman’s drummer. But I think substituting the rice for orzo gives this soup that little extra flair befitting one of the most successful drummer in rock-n-roll history. As for chicken noodle, I think that would be a mistake. Noodles are kind of silly. Larry isn’t a silly person or a silly drummer, even though I’m sure he has a great sense of humor! No doubt he’s got a bunch of funny stories “from the road,” and if he’s anything like his countryman James Joyce, he probably has a knack for storytelling. A lot of people don’t know that Larry was the one who, at fifteen, first put up the “musicians wanted” notice at Mount Temple Comprehensive School that brought U2 together. Well, what soup brings people together like no other? That’s right - chicken soup. (In this case, with orzo.)
Adam Clayton: Tortilla soup. Before you ask - no, Adam isn’t Mexican. He’s Irish. But, like tortilla soup, this Grammy-winning bassist is filled with interesting ingredients and has a little bit of zing. Tortilla soup is a regional dish rooted in its home country. Same with Adam. He still lives in County Dublin, the same place he moved to with his family back in 1965! As for the “zing” part, well, Adam was U2’s only bachelor for many decades, even fathering a child with an unknown French woman (mon dieu!) before finally marrying Mariana Teixeira de Carvalho in 2013. Guess where she’s from? Did you guess Mexico? Well, she’s from Brazil. I don’t think they eat tortillas much in Brazil, but I’ve never been there so that’s just a guess on my part. Throw a little avocado slice on there to cool it down. Adam is also cool. Tortilla soup is a warming, filling soup most often served as a side dish, just like the bass guitar provides a warming sound most often played with other instruments instead of by itself. After all, you wouldn’t want the most prominent instrument in your band to be bass, but no rock band would be complete without it. Thanks, Adam.
Bono: Pork belly ramen. When you go to a ramen shop, what’s the star of the show? The ramen, of course. Nobody’s showing up at one of these Japanese noodle joints and thinking about anything other than ramen. Well, it’s just the same with Bono. Think about it: Larry isn’t touring the group right now because of some injuries. Adam once had his bass tech play his parts when he was too hung over to take the stage. But you can’t go to a U2 concert and expect anybody other than Bono to handle the vocal duties. Well, it’s just the same with ramen. You might even say that ramen is soup’s “front man.” It’s a big bowl filled with veggies, some egg, protein, and, of course, ramen noodles. It does it all – just like Bono! He sings, plays guitar, and does A LOT of charity work. That’s why he’s our main man. At the same time, don’t you feel like if you ever met Bono, you’d be like, “I like Bono but he can be a little much?” That’s why I chose pork belly as the protein. Pork belly is delicious but if we’re being honest with ourselves, a little goes a long way. I don’t even think I could finish a full bowl of pork belly ramen soup. I’d have to excuse myself, just like I would probably at a cocktail party after talking to Bono for more than fifteen minutes.
The Edge: I saved The Edge for last because he’s my favorite member of U2. After all, what would U2 even be without that shimmery signature guitar? It would be only be half as good – in fact, they might even have to change the name to U1! I’m kidding, of course, but only to make a larger point. The Edge’s masterful axe work is U2’s hallmark sound, so he needs a hallmark soup. I thought about tomato basil, but that’s just a little too ordinary. I thought about chili con carne, but that felt a little too regional. No, for The Edge I wanted something delicious but challenging, a soup you can return to again and again for familiarity, but which always has something new up its sleeve. What kind of soup is like that? Classic French onion soup. Think about it: French onion soup is always a treat, and has so much complexity. There’s the rich broth, the caramelized onions, a slice of crusty bread, and the marvelous bubbling gruyere spilling over the sides. It’s even got cognac in it! French onion soup is traditional, it’s modern, it never goes out of style. Just like my main man, The Edge. What a soup! What a guitarist!
Well, that’s it. A great collection of guys, a great collection of soups. Both the band and the soups have provided plenty of terrific memories to millions of people all over the world. Here’s to many more years of both because, just like the song says, “I can’t live… with or without you!” Except in this case, I can definitely live with both U2 and with all of these soups. It’s the living without part that might be tough.
Is there a soup you think would be a better fit for any of the U2 guys? Feel free to leave a comment below.