Panic! at the Target

What are we doing? For real, what the fuck are we even doing? Why are people freaking out over the stupidest shit? Do I need a bathing suit that helps me tuck? I do not. Do I care if anybody else wants to buy one? I do not. Why is any store’s merchandise selection anybody’s concern? The moral panic in this country created by a few rightwing fundraising machines is grotesque and, unfortunately, highly effective. They do it time and time and time again, and enough of the population falls for their bullshit that it winds up creating real and lasting harm. Because of their manufactured hand-wringing, people are being denied healthcare, LGBTQ families are self-deporting from the states in which live, books are being removed from library shelves. If somebody wanted to make some real money, they could give all these concerned parents oysters to hold; all that white knuckled pearl-clutching could produce some actual pearls. Why? Who do they think they’re protecting? “The children.” It’s always about the children. Ask any kid and I can pretty much guarantee they’re far more worried about getting shot in school than they are about whether a onesie has a rainbow on it. Why? Because nobody’s getting “groomed” in kindergarten, but kids really are getting shot in school.

Oh fuck.

I’m not looking for corporations to lead. Anybody who does is, in my opinion, a fool. Corporations are only interested in making money. That is their job. Any social stance they take is about furthering their money-making. They’ll go whichever way the wind blows, which is why we see Target backing down from threats and Bud Light scrambling to appease their customers after somebody sent some beer to a *gasp* a trans social media influencer. The Left certainly has their corporate bogeymen, too. Chick-Fil-A, Hobby Lobby, whatever. Everybody gets to be mad at somebody, which is great. But if you’re looking for any corporation to tell you how to raise your kid, you’re probably not doing a great job of that yourself.

I grew up in a gay household. My mom was a lesbian. We were never explicitly told to keep it a secret but it was clear that this wasn’t something to be discussed. Because it wasn’t safe. Would it have made a difference if a lesson plan in grade school had included the fact that some people had two mommies or two daddies? I don’t know. But who would it have hurt? There were gay kids in my school. They couldn’t come out. Because it wasn’t safe. Who would it have hurt for them to have a supportive environment in which to be themselves? We had sex ed. No mention of any sexuality other than the hetero variety except as it related to AIDS. This was the era of silence = death. The slogan wasn’t an exaggeration. What if some national chain store back then had demonstrated allyship in 1998 when a kid in Wyoming was beaten and left to die in Laramie, Wyoming for the crime of being gay? Would it have helped if Wal-Mart had flown the rainbow flag at half mast after that atrocity? I don’t know. But it wouldn’t have hurt. George W. Bush proposed amending the Constitution to prohibit gay marriage in order to “protect the sanctity of marriage.” Gay marriage became the law of the land a few years later and guess what? No straight marriages were hurt. After years of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell,” (a 1993 Clinton-era compromise which people forget was actually designed to help gay soldiers serve, although it had the opposite effect) the military finally allowed gay and lesbian soldiers to serve openly in 2011. Now there’s a 4-star general who also happens to be a trans woman. And guess what? It’s fine. It’s all fine until people freak the fuck out. Then it gets dangerous.

Yeah, more young people are probably identifying as queer or trans or pan or omni or whatever the fuck they’re saying these days. Which is ginning up the outrage machine, which is causing parents to freak out, which is driving this moral panic. I get it. I’m a parent. Maybe you have some reservations about how your kids express themselves; guess what, you’re not going to change them. You have two choices. You’re either going to love them and support them or you’re going to drive them away. Your call. Getting pissed off Target isn’t going to change any of that. Was life easier for you, the parent, when young people’s sexuality was kept behind closed doors? Yeah, it probably was. Was it easier for them? Almost certainly not. Do you want your kids to be who they are, or do you want them to be who you want them to be? Do you want them to have the freedom to figure it out for themselves or do you want to try to close off all avenues but one? What will your relationship with them be like if you meet them with love or if you meet them with fear? Is your parenting about them or is it about you?

Ask yourself: who is any of this obnoxiousness helping? Are your children really being served by harassing people at a fucking discount department store? Are you making the world a better place in any way by throwing a hissy fit over a t-shirt? Whose cause are you actually serving? Because I guarantee it’s not your own.