Matthew Livelsberger, the man who shot himself in the head just before blowing up a Cybertruck in front of the Trump Hotel in Las Vegas, left behind a note explaining his actions.
Another great piece. I feel kinda sorry for those men who are so rigid in their conception of masculinity that they're making themselves miserable when they don't have to.
This is a great piece Michael, thanks. This guy's wife apparently kicked him out a few days before the incident so I'm reading a lot of the "men must be leaders" as "I am mad that I can't control my wife."
It seems like a LOT of men gauge their percieved masculinity on how many people they can repress. Women, minorities, non-cis/het people. Why so much need for dominance?
It's unfortunate that this guy BBQ'ed himself so thoroughly. It would have been interesting to see if he had CTE.
I saw Bros open for Debbie Gibson in 1989 or so at the Roy Wilkins Auditorium. They cut their set short (I think they did one song) because they had “computer problems.” The mom next to me said “They seemed loud enough to me?”
i love the whole thing, especially the final paragraph:
"Men need help. They need support. But they also need a new vision of manhood, one that celebrates all the great things about traditional masculinity while embracing what is great about the undiscovered dimensions of ourselves, dimensions that are equally our birthrights: empathy, creativity, vulnerability. Women have spent the last sixty years figuring out how vast their own feminity can be. It’s long past time for men to do the same. Or they could just, you know, keep blowing shit up."
John Kerry was CA a Vietnam war vet. That’s how he first came to public attention. He was also a thinker. He may be a good example of what a man should be—both active and intellectual.
Confused he may have been, but let us give him credit and thanks for cutting out the middle bit of the performance, which is shooting a number of people before taking his own life, the stereotype ending of these scenarios.
I'd like this approach to catch on amongst others considering ending their lives in a blaze of protest. In that sense, Matthew was/is a role model.
You have to meet them where they are seeking that conversation? Podcasts or videos, under the subscription model. Men tend to be visual learners, and a subscription model makes them feel elite.
Maybe you know this but Arnold Schwarzenegger’s newsletter is all about positive masculinity (and health) - I subscribe and read because it gives me hope to see men supporting each other in a positive way (and for the muscles)
Susan Faludi wrote a book in the 90s called Stiffed. She focused on the WWII, Korean vets and their Boomer sons. What defined a man for these men and their male children. It's rather dated now since a couple of generations have grown up since, but for me to rung true. Masculinity took on a definition with expectations that were unachievable. I grasped the eccense of my father and my ex-husband in her analysis.
Being a modern male with the rapid socioeconomic changes in the late 20th and early 21st centuries had its challenges.
If you want to check it out from your library it was listed under male studies.
Great post about an urgent issue. The best book I've read on this subject was written by Jungian analysts, oddly enough - "King, Warrior, Magician, Lover" (1991). It examines positive archetypes for masculinity as well as their shadowy toxic sides (eg. "King" vs. "Tyrant"). Highly recommended.
“ Women have spent the last sixty years figuring out how vast their own feminity can be.” 🫰 🫰(assuming this emoji means ‘coffee house poetry reading hipster finger snaps of affirmation’ and not something gross).
Another great piece. I feel kinda sorry for those men who are so rigid in their conception of masculinity that they're making themselves miserable when they don't have to.
This is a great piece Michael, thanks. This guy's wife apparently kicked him out a few days before the incident so I'm reading a lot of the "men must be leaders" as "I am mad that I can't control my wife."
It seems like a LOT of men gauge their percieved masculinity on how many people they can repress. Women, minorities, non-cis/het people. Why so much need for dominance?
It's unfortunate that this guy BBQ'ed himself so thoroughly. It would have been interesting to see if he had CTE.
I saw Bros open for Debbie Gibson in 1989 or so at the Roy Wilkins Auditorium. They cut their set short (I think they did one song) because they had “computer problems.” The mom next to me said “They seemed loud enough to me?”
This needs to be a podcast … this could help young men deconstruct their toxic masculinity and counter act the right wing narrative
dear michael,
super thoughtful piece.
i love the whole thing, especially the final paragraph:
"Men need help. They need support. But they also need a new vision of manhood, one that celebrates all the great things about traditional masculinity while embracing what is great about the undiscovered dimensions of ourselves, dimensions that are equally our birthrights: empathy, creativity, vulnerability. Women have spent the last sixty years figuring out how vast their own feminity can be. It’s long past time for men to do the same. Or they could just, you know, keep blowing shit up."
thank you for sharing!
love
myq
John Kerry was CA a Vietnam war vet. That’s how he first came to public attention. He was also a thinker. He may be a good example of what a man should be—both active and intellectual.
Excellent piece yet again. You are the perfect man and def my most butch friend.
This is a wonderful piece.
Confused he may have been, but let us give him credit and thanks for cutting out the middle bit of the performance, which is shooting a number of people before taking his own life, the stereotype ending of these scenarios.
I'd like this approach to catch on amongst others considering ending their lives in a blaze of protest. In that sense, Matthew was/is a role model.
His other victim was that fine mech known as a cybertruck, which he successfully blew up before it could blow up itself
This is so well written. It deserves to be read widely. So many men & boys would benefit from reading this.
I wrote a book about it and, it turns out, men don't want to read about masculinity.
I gave a copy of A Better Man to all my friends raising sons. If men won’t read it, at least moms can try to impart your wisdom to their sons.
You have to meet them where they are seeking that conversation? Podcasts or videos, under the subscription model. Men tend to be visual learners, and a subscription model makes them feel elite.
Not the target audience perhaps but I added it to my Goodreads. Thank you for reminding me that I need to read your books.
Michael, bravo. Really, this one...bravo.
Maybe you know this but Arnold Schwarzenegger’s newsletter is all about positive masculinity (and health) - I subscribe and read because it gives me hope to see men supporting each other in a positive way (and for the muscles)
Susan Faludi wrote a book in the 90s called Stiffed. She focused on the WWII, Korean vets and their Boomer sons. What defined a man for these men and their male children. It's rather dated now since a couple of generations have grown up since, but for me to rung true. Masculinity took on a definition with expectations that were unachievable. I grasped the eccense of my father and my ex-husband in her analysis.
Being a modern male with the rapid socioeconomic changes in the late 20th and early 21st centuries had its challenges.
If you want to check it out from your library it was listed under male studies.
Great post about an urgent issue. The best book I've read on this subject was written by Jungian analysts, oddly enough - "King, Warrior, Magician, Lover" (1991). It examines positive archetypes for masculinity as well as their shadowy toxic sides (eg. "King" vs. "Tyrant"). Highly recommended.
Maybe there should be an anime adaptation
Michael, I find your writing always insightful, and this piece particularly so. I hope that it finds its way to some of the bros.
“ Women have spent the last sixty years figuring out how vast their own feminity can be.” 🫰 🫰(assuming this emoji means ‘coffee house poetry reading hipster finger snaps of affirmation’ and not something gross).