24 Comments

Just give the kid a snickers! No snarky comments. Honestly, sage advice.

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Lolololololol

Do Disney Adults next, Judge Judy!

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I feel this one deeply. My birthday is Halloween, and throughout my 30’s I threw some amazeballs parties and my friends and I had all the fun. Later, I became a surprise single mom. I had 2 year old twins and I was dating a man (my future husband) who had full custody of his two elementary school-aged daughters. I suggested a romantic dinner (plus fun haunted house!) on my birthday and he gently broke the news to me that I had children now, and Halloween was no longer mine. It belonged to the children, and never the twain shall meet. My birthday gets celebrated, just not on the 31st. We have four kids to go raiding with, and it’s A LOT. But letting go of adult Halloween has been good for my soul. I do dress up, though, because it brings my boys joy to do a family costume for trick or treating. One blink of an eye and they’re going to be too old to love to see their mom dressed as a witch, so I am soaking it up while I can.

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I remember being a kid and I was lucky enough to be brought to some aunts and uncles houses to trick-or treat. Unbeknownst, they all decorated and made spooky snacks and haunted houses for all of us cousins to walk through. It was remarkably formative and truly made Halloween my favorite day of the year. I think we should remember when we think about Halloween being for the kids, it's not Halloween unless we make it so. Always have a costume or make a treat and put it out there, just have some fun with it. It can only make a kids night better and maybe your own.

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“Zombie Joan Didion” hahahaha

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This made me laugh! Thank you for speaking truth and making it funny. 😉

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The thing about adults in costume on Halloween during the day, just going about their business, is that many more people were smiling at each other than I usually see, and I liked that.

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I don't necessarily AGREE with this essay but I LOVE this essay.

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I mostly wrote it just to be a contrary dick. I don't even agree with it, necessarily.

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I just thought you were extremely fatigued.

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Well that too

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oh I figured. I just think it's really well written.

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People got very upset with me.

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but your wife's 'stume was spot on.

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It was. It was an excellent Moira

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Sorry, but you can take Halloween away from me when you wrench it from my cold, dead (skeleton-gloved) hands. It is the one true holiday. Pretty sure it's in the bible and everything.

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Yep. All of that.

Now can we address the issue of adults believing that non blood relatives STILL have to make a fuss about their birthday? Even foisting their birthday 'news' on strangers, and expecting an enthusiastic response? (It's not 'news', we know you have a birthday on one of the 365 days of the year, and you other folk on February 29 every four years. We get it. You were born. As evidenced by you standing right there.)

I believe the cut off should be 12 years. Am I being mean and rigid?

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Dude, thanks for this spot on take. I've been laughing at your stuff since '94. So glad to see you on Substack. Now get your ass in that puddin'!

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Additionally, your decorations don't *have* to be the most horrifying and/or disturbing thing anybody's ever seen in their 7 short years. Lighten up. It's not about you and your shit.

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Nailed it!

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Damn. I really liked Martha's Moira Rose costume on the 'Gram earlier 😂

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We dressed up last year to take my nieces and nephews trick r treating. Kidz Boppenheimer hits close to home

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