We moved from SF to Sevilla, Spain 2 years ago. Life is great. Like really great.
My friends are a fantastically random group of people I met in the neighborhood. People sit down next to you on a terrace and just start shooting the breeze. A cold beer on a terrace costs €1.60. Kids play in the plaza while parents and grandparents have drinks. Our nine year old walks to school and has forgotten most of her active shooter training. The grocery store is 40 paces from our front door. We use our car once a week, mostly to go to the beach or a village nearby for lunch.
It felt like disappearing at the beginning and now I feel like my real self for the first time in a long time.
Roll through and we’ll eat some olives, chop it up with some Spanish grampas and have €1.60 beers.
My wife grew up here. She went to the US after high school because the movies made it look rad.
We met in Madrid in grad school, bounced around the US for a few decades and COVID and Trump were kind of the catalysts to move back.
Assimilation is definitely easier for us because of her background and my childhood passion for Univision. But there are a lot of people here who are living the life I describe and learning Spanish in the process.
Come back, MIB. We miss you. Your kids miss you. Your dogs miss you. Your friends miss you.
Minnesota is a nice place. Move here. Our winters will make you appreciate how good you had it.
Travel a little, but don’t move. Bring back funny stories. We really need to laugh in Minnesota because we’re equally annoyed with the US and our winters are terrible!
Hope you’re feeling better when you read this. If not, there’s scientific evidence in this book to support my argument for not moving to Italy, which I’m sure is just as annoying as the US, in different ways.
Seriously, read this book. “Platonic” by Marisa G. Franco, PhD
A lot of people are feeling the way you do. I'm luckier than you though, I live in Australia and we don't have the issues the US is facing at the moment but as I watch what's happening I have a sick feeling and a blanket of dread comes over me. I think people in our age bracket (50s) are feeling somewhat displaced as we enter the time of our lives where we were told we would be settled and content and our lives would be easier and more comfortable and that has turned out to be bunch of bullshit. I still worry about my adult kids, I worry for my future and my parents futures and its just a never ending feeling of 'what's next'. I think if you feel peace and some semblance of happiness where you are then you need to grab onto it and hold it, its a rare thing these days.
My response to this is too long to put in a comment. More like a three-hour conversation. As someone else commented, I think it could in part be correlated to being in our 50s. I think also coming out of a pandemic is a bit disorienting (intentional understatement). I'm practicing a lot of detachment and it's good. The best I can sum up the three-hour conversation we won't have would be Maya Angelou's quote:
"You only are free when you realize you belong no place — you belong every place — no place at all. The price is high. The reward is great."
I feel you. Moving / change of environment can be the answer. The only issue is you take yourself wherever you go. Do you see where I'm going with this? Change needs to come from within. I was born in Paris and lived there for 14 years. I love Europe and go back there every summer. Europeans in general are good at complaining but they don't know how good they have it. As for gun violence, I am with you 100%. The US is the only civilized nation where mass shootings occur on a daily basis.
Yep. I'm in what is considered a deep red state, though I suspect it wouldn't be so red if not for gerrymandering. Moving has been on my mind a lot lately, but my family is here. My aging parents are here. I can't leave them. Also, I don't think AI will do everything better. It can't even get basic facts right. Then again, neither can a lot of humans.
I think you’ve articulated beautifully the feeling many of us have. I’ve described it as methodically disconnecting from things and the place I’m in now. I mentally live in the future, on an island we’ve chosen off of Belize, where we’ll go as soon as my husband can retire in a few years. I’m not sure if it will fix my fog, but it will be better than living in this place I don’t feel a part of anymore.
You’re not alone, and as a fellow 50ish, I strongly suspect entering middle age is a major feeder (consciously and unconsciously) to your feelings right now. If I can recommend an enlightening book, “The Happiness Curve” by Jonathan Rauch - not a self-help book, it’s a data-driven social sciences book that presents that a mid life bottoming-out feeling seems to be inevitable, no matter your success, social strata, etc. (the good news is, the data also demonstrates we then come out of it). It’s helped me navigate midlife malaise, by just being aware that any strong feelings of isolation or despair may be artificially amplified by factors outside my control.
You are not alone, thanks for posting this message. You are such a talented writer, actor and the funniest account I follow. I looked forward to your posts all through Covid, and still do to this day! I say give yourself a break. It must be incredibly difficult both #1 working in your industry, #2 living in the US. Personally, I would be looking at how to change both. Give yourself an opportunity for some wins, and to breathe easier. Wishing you peace ✌️ (ps, have you considered moving to Canada, not that far to be close to your kids! 🇨🇦)
I’m glad you’re still writing because this was beautiful. And sad. I feel a lot of those things. I am moving because my state is trying to legislate my kid out of existence. Hopefully it helps protect them, but I suspect i’ll still be sad for a long time.
It's probably worth trying to socialize with other people more/again. It can be frustrating/annoying to deal with other humans and all their/our vanities/foibles, but you often feel better afterward, like exercise.
We moved from SF to Sevilla, Spain 2 years ago. Life is great. Like really great.
My friends are a fantastically random group of people I met in the neighborhood. People sit down next to you on a terrace and just start shooting the breeze. A cold beer on a terrace costs €1.60. Kids play in the plaza while parents and grandparents have drinks. Our nine year old walks to school and has forgotten most of her active shooter training. The grocery store is 40 paces from our front door. We use our car once a week, mostly to go to the beach or a village nearby for lunch.
It felt like disappearing at the beginning and now I feel like my real self for the first time in a long time.
Roll through and we’ll eat some olives, chop it up with some Spanish grampas and have €1.60 beers.
That's awesome. How did you decide on Sevilla?
My wife grew up here. She went to the US after high school because the movies made it look rad.
We met in Madrid in grad school, bounced around the US for a few decades and COVID and Trump were kind of the catalysts to move back.
Assimilation is definitely easier for us because of her background and my childhood passion for Univision. But there are a lot of people here who are living the life I describe and learning Spanish in the process.
Come back, MIB. We miss you. Your kids miss you. Your dogs miss you. Your friends miss you.
Minnesota is a nice place. Move here. Our winters will make you appreciate how good you had it.
Travel a little, but don’t move. Bring back funny stories. We really need to laugh in Minnesota because we’re equally annoyed with the US and our winters are terrible!
Hope you’re feeling better when you read this. If not, there’s scientific evidence in this book to support my argument for not moving to Italy, which I’m sure is just as annoying as the US, in different ways.
Seriously, read this book. “Platonic” by Marisa G. Franco, PhD
When I’m down I think about going to Golden Corral. And then I realize how great is my life that I don’t go to Golden Corral. You’re welcome.
A lot of people are feeling the way you do. I'm luckier than you though, I live in Australia and we don't have the issues the US is facing at the moment but as I watch what's happening I have a sick feeling and a blanket of dread comes over me. I think people in our age bracket (50s) are feeling somewhat displaced as we enter the time of our lives where we were told we would be settled and content and our lives would be easier and more comfortable and that has turned out to be bunch of bullshit. I still worry about my adult kids, I worry for my future and my parents futures and its just a never ending feeling of 'what's next'. I think if you feel peace and some semblance of happiness where you are then you need to grab onto it and hold it, its a rare thing these days.
My response to this is too long to put in a comment. More like a three-hour conversation. As someone else commented, I think it could in part be correlated to being in our 50s. I think also coming out of a pandemic is a bit disorienting (intentional understatement). I'm practicing a lot of detachment and it's good. The best I can sum up the three-hour conversation we won't have would be Maya Angelou's quote:
"You only are free when you realize you belong no place — you belong every place — no place at all. The price is high. The reward is great."
Take care of yourself.
I feel you. Moving / change of environment can be the answer. The only issue is you take yourself wherever you go. Do you see where I'm going with this? Change needs to come from within. I was born in Paris and lived there for 14 years. I love Europe and go back there every summer. Europeans in general are good at complaining but they don't know how good they have it. As for gun violence, I am with you 100%. The US is the only civilized nation where mass shootings occur on a daily basis.
Yep. I'm in what is considered a deep red state, though I suspect it wouldn't be so red if not for gerrymandering. Moving has been on my mind a lot lately, but my family is here. My aging parents are here. I can't leave them. Also, I don't think AI will do everything better. It can't even get basic facts right. Then again, neither can a lot of humans.
Literally right down to browsing houses in Europe. I asked a friend the other day “are we dead?!”
I think you’ve articulated beautifully the feeling many of us have. I’ve described it as methodically disconnecting from things and the place I’m in now. I mentally live in the future, on an island we’ve chosen off of Belize, where we’ll go as soon as my husband can retire in a few years. I’m not sure if it will fix my fog, but it will be better than living in this place I don’t feel a part of anymore.
You’re not alone, and as a fellow 50ish, I strongly suspect entering middle age is a major feeder (consciously and unconsciously) to your feelings right now. If I can recommend an enlightening book, “The Happiness Curve” by Jonathan Rauch - not a self-help book, it’s a data-driven social sciences book that presents that a mid life bottoming-out feeling seems to be inevitable, no matter your success, social strata, etc. (the good news is, the data also demonstrates we then come out of it). It’s helped me navigate midlife malaise, by just being aware that any strong feelings of isolation or despair may be artificially amplified by factors outside my control.
You are not alone, thanks for posting this message. You are such a talented writer, actor and the funniest account I follow. I looked forward to your posts all through Covid, and still do to this day! I say give yourself a break. It must be incredibly difficult both #1 working in your industry, #2 living in the US. Personally, I would be looking at how to change both. Give yourself an opportunity for some wins, and to breathe easier. Wishing you peace ✌️ (ps, have you considered moving to Canada, not that far to be close to your kids! 🇨🇦)
I have considered Canada and may consider it again!
I’m glad you’re still writing because this was beautiful. And sad. I feel a lot of those things. I am moving because my state is trying to legislate my kid out of existence. Hopefully it helps protect them, but I suspect i’ll still be sad for a long time.
"I write things: jokes, mostly. I wrote an idea for a TV show and the response I got was that it wasn’t funny enough. It wasn’t supposed to be funny."
I found this funny.
I'm glad - that line was supposed to be funny.
It's probably worth trying to socialize with other people more/again. It can be frustrating/annoying to deal with other humans and all their/our vanities/foibles, but you often feel better afterward, like exercise.
I feel like all of those things. However I will say permanent geographical solutions rarely work.
How do I know that Michael Ian Bot didn't write this?