39 Comments
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Beverley Jackson's avatar

Please for the love of god continue to be a dick, especially with your folks. They’re never going to listen to people who are different from them. You’re the only type that will have any persuasion with them.

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Merrill Markoe's avatar

1 in 5 is not hard to believe at all if you ever talk to women.

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Michael Ian Black's avatar

I make it my business not to speak to women

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Merrill Markoe's avatar

its a time honored and very profitable long range business model.

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Michael Ian Black's avatar

I see no reason to change.

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Merrill Markoe's avatar

You are not a dick.

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Martha Hagen-Black's avatar

You are a “dick” sometimes, but I wouldn’t agree with every situation you list. But, your ability to keep your cool and stick with your argument IS maddening for the person on the other side 🤣

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Myq Kaplan's avatar

dear michael,

thank you for sharing this!

i think that dickishness exists on a spectrum, like so many things do.

i consider myself a recovering internet argumentaholic, and sometimes i find myself backsliding, but i do my best, and this is very resonant:

"What the hell do I have to be so righteous about? My opinions are often horrid and my grasp of facts regarding any given subject is tenuous at best. Yet my self-assuredness is, apparently, boundless."

thanks for being self-reflective about your self-assuredness! it is meaningful and appreciated!

love

myq

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Larry's avatar

Sometimes it takes balls to be a dick.

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Michael Ian Black's avatar

hahaha

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Alison Rosen's avatar

But I feel like dicks never wonder if they’re dicks. Also would love to know what your wife thinks of all this.

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Michael Ian Black's avatar

She thinks Im a dick

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Brian Lynch's avatar

You are not a dick.

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Mary Keir's avatar

Being a dick to dicks makes you better than a dick because your intentions are pure. You are trying to make the world a better place for us all, whereas they are just trying to make it better for themselves and their fellow dicks. So thank you, and please keep up the good work.

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Carol J. Butterfield's avatar

Hear something, say something.

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GroovemasterGreg's avatar

I am a dick like you, not withstanding the below comments. I am just like you, and am confrontational and a trial lawyer so I do not shy away from these things. Also a former cop, who feels as bulletproof as I thought I was when I was a 21 year old cop in Houston.

At least my parents had the foresight not to name me Richard. I have several friends with that name whose parents were spot on in naming their child.

I'm such a dick that I will good naturedly inquire if you've upped your Puma trainers game yet? That was a joke, but a dick joke.

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Michael Ian Black's avatar

Whoa. You can come after me, bro, but do NOT come after my Pumas.

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GroovemasterGreg's avatar

You know it’s with love, sir. You solved my Saul Bernstein-esque retirement issue! I’ll always thank you for that. It’s been almost a year, and I have not worried about that issue since. You’re better than a Beverly Hills shrink, and although I subscribed, cheaper too. Also I didn’t even have to talk or hit the couch!

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Paul Valerio's avatar

Genuine dicks don't contemplate whether or not they are dicks. Part of being a dick is an utter lack of self-doubt. Dicks also depend on a lack of confrontation about their dickishness, which enables further expression of dickhood. It's kind of a corollary to the Dunning-Kruger effect.

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Kate Bergam's avatar

No. You are not a dick. Silence is the voice of complicity. Live and let live.

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Miriam Barberena's avatar

Some people take silence to mean agreement. Better to risk being seen as a dick than a supporter.

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Rick Massimo's avatar

That’s the thing. As they say, doing nothing is also a choice. The bully is the guy who forces you to make that choice when all you wanted to do was see Mount Vernon.

Also, the notion that Hollywood is liberal is LOL.

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Larry's avatar

Totally agree… in the face of really bad shit, silence could be perceived as complicity.

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CYBILS Awards's avatar

THIS!

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Steve Huff's avatar

This is so true and I think of this a lot when I avoid speaking up, but certain provocations are better left alone for my peace of mind.

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STAND UP! With Pete Dominick's avatar

If this is being a dick, then I am a huge cock but to be fair, I think we need more dick and cockS like us

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Mark Garcia's avatar

If youre only a dick to other dicks it cancels out 💪

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Steve Huff's avatar

You’re not a dick if you can do these things and mostly keep your cool. I avoid confrontation because I have a hair trigger. If I decide I’m ready to argue with a dumbass the primitive, unreconstructed redneck part of my brain is already pushing to get physical. My brother was the same way and he already had a record by the time he was 17 because he had no brakes at all.

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GroovemasterGreg's avatar

Good call, bro. Like Dirty Harry said..."a man's gotta know his limitations."

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Ami's avatar

A real dick wouldn’t worry so much about being a dick.

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Steve Huff's avatar

What I’m saying is those of us who are innately dicks know the true spirit of dickishness and do not see you as among our number. Love you for that!

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Michael Ian Black's avatar

I don't know. I don't know what the right thing to do is in these situations; I'm going to try to handle myself better in the future but will probably still speak up. I almost can't help it, but I can help the way I go about it.

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Allison Delman's avatar

So agree with all the above….it’s important to speak up. We can’t let uninformed continue to spew “facts” without a rebuttal. Btw, I could only watch 3 minutes of your interview with Chowder but HE is the dick. You were right on point, reasonable and calm. Impressive given how hyped up he was.

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Larry's avatar

I think there’s no option but to speak up, particularly in the defense of others, who would otherwise be left relatively defenseless. To do so without ever being a dick is a Jesus-like skill (assuming that, as they say, Jesus was not a dick). So I say do your best, and if once in a while, you cross over into the land of Dickdom, so be it. My wife would say that spent far too much time in that land, and that I should just keep my mouth shut. But I can’t.

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Simply Susan's avatar

There was a time I refrained from speaking up to misinformation, lies, racism. and the like. But that was then, and this is now. It's a different world out there, and to be silent risks being complicit. By the way, I do not have a dick, but sometimes elicit the word bitch. (But NOT Karen, never Karen, don't even try.)

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GroovemasterGreg's avatar

Good post, Karen. LOL...you know I couldn't resist that, Susan. I always enjoy your opinions.

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Simply Susan's avatar

😉

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Michael Ian Black's avatar

I appreciate the support, Karen.

I mean SUSAN. I meant SUSAN!!!

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