[AUTHOR’S NOTE: You’ve probably seen those posts that occasionally pop up entitled “AITA” which stands for “Am I the asshole?” This is my version of events and it’s entirely possible that I’m, somehow, the asshole in this situation. Andrew may decide to write his own version but I doubt he will do so, if only because I suspect he’s illiterate.]
And if Dice was a nice guy IRL and his stage persona was just that, I guess people would find fault with that, too. Not that he should be a jerk, but I'm not surprised by it. Opie and Anthony had some amusing tales of their experiences with him.
BTW. I was just listening to an old R Kelly song(Dedicated, pre-peepee R.) which was our song (me n hub, pre-divorce).To offset the awkward vibe I felt in regards to what my current guy cd be construing my edm to rnb jump I treated him to a nice, bassy, loud and appropriately drawn out AWWWWW....YEAAHHHHHHHH to officiate and welcome the awkwardness. I call upon this catch phrase (can it be called that??) from time to time when life demands it, and it does, about 4x annually I'd guess. But each time, it's YOU im effortlessly and concisely emulating, MIB, as best a half Asian/white female can do,anyhow, with your face and voice in mind, and any memory of that skit from back in the day my foggier-by-the-day 46 yr old brain feels like pulling up from the archives. So after I stun my dude into wondering what this new Barry White- like mating call could mean for HIM I Google (Michael Ian Black awwww yeahhhhh was my exact search ) you and this is what I clicked on after looking thru vids not seeing the ONE. That's responsible for my bringing unease and uncertainties to many over the years, as to my abrupt, blaring, blurt in the vein or key of large horny sexy man I channel when the spirit calls. Cuz it's yours, MIB, and that's how I do it. Is that weird AF or what?! Weirder to ppl I treat to it who don't know wtf I'm alluding to. Which is kinda alot cuz I hang w less and less cool ppl who have such obscure knowledge of awesome skit com greats . Here's to you MIB
You can dip your balls in this any day, no offense to your wife. Goes for Showalter too 🤘
I knew Dice was the asshole before I read your retelling. I am also a big fan of acting unperturbed when someone is trying to rattle me and this was *chef’s kiss.*
I don't have much to contribute to the comment thread here but I did just want to say that Andrew "Dice" Clay, who we have established is 66, is not funny and also sucks.
I’m not really sure this needs to be said, I mean it seems obvious but ADC was, is, and will probably continue always be the asshole. I read this and it made me never want to see anything that ADC is a part of again and on the flip side I just joined Michaels substack for a year. I look forward to it. If Michael has 25 more of these types of incidents over the next year we will all get together and reconsider this one.
Finding out that Andrew Dice Clay is an asshole is probably the least surprising thing I've learned in some time. Great story.
Sounds made up
That's exactly what it DOESN'T sound like.
It's always the has-beens who love to throw their weight around. The guy is lucky he is still getting bookings because his act got old pretty fast.
Dice was funny for about a month, and then he burned through all his material and never came up with more.
And if Dice was a nice guy IRL and his stage persona was just that, I guess people would find fault with that, too. Not that he should be a jerk, but I'm not surprised by it. Opie and Anthony had some amusing tales of their experiences with him.
I’m so pleased that you stood your ground, Michael. Too bad you had to deal with such a giant loser. The manager is inept in his position.
I LOVE YOU MICHAELLLLLLL!!!
BTW. I was just listening to an old R Kelly song(Dedicated, pre-peepee R.) which was our song (me n hub, pre-divorce).To offset the awkward vibe I felt in regards to what my current guy cd be construing my edm to rnb jump I treated him to a nice, bassy, loud and appropriately drawn out AWWWWW....YEAAHHHHHHHH to officiate and welcome the awkwardness. I call upon this catch phrase (can it be called that??) from time to time when life demands it, and it does, about 4x annually I'd guess. But each time, it's YOU im effortlessly and concisely emulating, MIB, as best a half Asian/white female can do,anyhow, with your face and voice in mind, and any memory of that skit from back in the day my foggier-by-the-day 46 yr old brain feels like pulling up from the archives. So after I stun my dude into wondering what this new Barry White- like mating call could mean for HIM I Google (Michael Ian Black awwww yeahhhhh was my exact search ) you and this is what I clicked on after looking thru vids not seeing the ONE. That's responsible for my bringing unease and uncertainties to many over the years, as to my abrupt, blaring, blurt in the vein or key of large horny sexy man I channel when the spirit calls. Cuz it's yours, MIB, and that's how I do it. Is that weird AF or what?! Weirder to ppl I treat to it who don't know wtf I'm alluding to. Which is kinda alot cuz I hang w less and less cool ppl who have such obscure knowledge of awesome skit com greats . Here's to you MIB
You can dip your balls in this any day, no offense to your wife. Goes for Showalter too 🤘
Jesus Christ
Thank you! I wish I had you with me years ago. He's awful. When I was twenty-one and new to LA, I had an unpleasant experience with him.
1985, Canter's Deli, some vague time between 1am to 6 am--
I'm sitting with a comedian friend for coffee and bagels. Andrew Dice Clay sits down to talk to my comedian friend, interrupting us.
Words came out of my mouth.
ADC to me: "Shut up, sister. I wasn't talking to you."
Back then I was a wuss and just seethed in silence.
****
But then I also accidentally pissed off Pee-Wee Herman, who gave me some scary stink-eye.
You. Are. A. Hero!!! 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
I went to his show 20+ years ago… he's most likely doing the same act 🤷♀️
I knew Dice was the asshole before I read your retelling. I am also a big fan of acting unperturbed when someone is trying to rattle me and this was *chef’s kiss.*
Lol! I am so happy I stumbled upon your new Substack Michael! Thank you for the morning laugh.
It sounds to me like you were just threatened because the Dice tells it like it is and you can’t handle it.
Doing my part, I have already regaled your tale to my husband. He agrees, you are not the asshole.
I don't have much to contribute to the comment thread here but I did just want to say that Andrew "Dice" Clay, who we have established is 66, is not funny and also sucks.
I’m not really sure this needs to be said, I mean it seems obvious but ADC was, is, and will probably continue always be the asshole. I read this and it made me never want to see anything that ADC is a part of again and on the flip side I just joined Michaels substack for a year. I look forward to it. If Michael has 25 more of these types of incidents over the next year we will all get together and reconsider this one.