Minnesota nICE

Minneapolis and St. Paul are among the least likely American cities to host two major civil rights actions over the last few years. My wife and her family hail from the Minneapolis suburbs, and I’ve spent a lot of time there, so I feel like I know a thing or two about the place. These are not a confrontational people. In fact, they’re so pleasant that their general state of mind is referred to as “Minnesota nice.” When I first heard the time, I just assumed the phrase was sarcastic (because I’m from New Jersey). It’s not. So much of the Twin Cities’ population is of Scandinavian descent. Before George Floyd’s murder at the hands of the police in 2020, I suspect the only time so many Swedes and Norwegians raised their voices together was during Eurovision.

Now, though, for the second time in five years, Minnesotans are in the streets protesting their government. It makes a certain amount of sense, I suppose, considering how many of them are Lutherans, a Christian sect founded on protest. And so, it is to the land of Hubert Humphrey and Walter Mondale and Paul Wellstone and Al Franken and Ilhan Omar that we now turn our attention. It is to this place, where Garrison Keillor taught us that the children are all above average, to which we turn for courage and hope.

A woman dragged from her car today in Minneapolis while trying to get to a doctor’s appointment.

Today, we were treated to more scenes of ICE and Homeland Security officers breaking into homes without warrants, dragging Americans from their cars, kneeling on the necks of protestors, and firing chemical agents at civilians as casually as if they were scattering rock salt on the icy roads they keep getting stuck on.

Reports from locals aren’t good. A message from Phil Calvit, a guy I don’t know who lives there, made the rounds to Martha’s cell phone. He writes:

“Y’all it’s bad here… ICE is everywhere. Just now, walking my dog (a new puppy, Frankie-awesome), I heard the sound of sirens from one direction, and then the other. You see caravans of SUVs as you move around the city. They’re at the home improvement stores. They’re at the suburban convenience stores. They dragged the entire staff of a suburban Asian restaurant into unmarked vans.

Helicopters hover over whatever area is currently being targeted. In some neighborhoods, they’re going door to door, asking to see your papers.

Restaurants are closed because staff are terrified to come to work. Agents forced their way into a home with automatic weapons lowered,

manhandled the homeowners as small children screamed.”

I saw that video. You probably did, too.

My friend, host of the podcasts “Depresh Mode,” and “Sleeping With Celebrities,” John Moe, wrote on Bluesky:

“Hmm, how does the citywide student protest walkout affect my regularly scheduled shift standing guard outside the school to protect the kids from government agents?

Welcome to Minnesota, January 2026.”

People are angry and people are scared. So, ask yourself: who’s better off for having ICE invade their city? Does terrorizing a population reduce your rent? Does it get you a job? Does destroying the lives of your neighbors materially improve your own life? Is the nation served by having these goobers lobbing tear gas on American streets?

I know the nation occasionally experiences these grand mal seizures, but these are the worst of my lifetime. I’m 54 years old (still very handsome), and this is the most awful period of domestic American history I’ve personally witnessed. Not in terms of the actual destruction being caused – the LA Riots were far worse – but in the comically evil force surge unleashed on a major city for, literally, no reason.

None.

They went into Minneapolis because Tim Walz is the governor. They went in because it’s a blue city. They went in because they hate the Somali-American, Ilhan Omar. They decided to use a Medicare fraud case perpetrated by, among others, a group of Somalis, to go after all Somalis. They did this because they know their base loves seeing Black people victimized. They did it because they want to send a message. That message is simple: “We hate you.”

In his message, Phil Calvit wrote:

“There will be another Renee Good – probably many. These goons are over-armed and poorly trained. They have a major fucking attitude. They WANT this. They signed up to thump brown people, and to pepper-spray white libtards, then throw them into the street, kick them, and laugh while lumbering back to their black Suburbans.”

Thanks to the people of Minnesota for standing against terror. These good and brave Midwesterners are showing America the best of us. They’re doing so by standing up against the flunkies and bullies who constitute our worst. I don’t know if we will beat them, but I know that, if we do, it will because everyday Minnesotans and Chicagoans and Los Angelinos and Memphisites (Memphisers? Memphizzitos?) are standing against tyranny. They’re doing so peacefully, if occasionally profanely. They’re doing so in the same spirit that has advanced this nation from its founding. The line from Crispus Attucks to Renee Good is a straight one. Those who put their bodies on that line to protect their neighbors from harm are true American heroes. Those who oppose them do not deserve to wear the flag.