Loving our country like loving a relative with dementia is thought provoking and unfortunately accurate given the front runners for our presidential election.
Fuzzy senescence? Are you talking about the only president ever to get a climate bill passed? The guy who got Kevin McCarthy to agree to suspend the debt ceiling and pass a budget extension, then got Mike Johnson to do the same thing McCarthy was ousted for? I wish I was senescent like that!
Not to be sanguine, but in the early 1930s things looked just as intractable, unsolvable, and stacked. Then an enormous new wind blew. No guarantee that will happen again and in the same way and in the same direction, but America does have that capacity. And when just about no one expects it.
You are absolutely right though to be thinking these things, writing about them, and feeling deep concern.
Wow! I typed that because just an hour ago I expressed the same thoughts with a therapist. Almost word for word in some places.
I am older than you. Many decades ago I became concerned about what I witnessed and felt about America. Maybe I began to take stock of things after watching the film Wall Street. It seems uneasiness began to gnaw at me around that time. Something was off. I sensed my peers became absorbed in acquiring and viewing others as "less than."
Being the parent of small children I panicked within myself. Reaganonics had grasped the headlines. People whom I had loved began to express opinions antithetical to my worldview. Paralysis set in. The rearing of my children and making a decent living took over my thoughts and actions. The tides seemed against me. I put on blinders.
Throughout the 90s I began to pull away from those who had been friends. Volunteering filled the gaps. My spouse slowly migrated to another view of the world. The children were coming into their own trying to discover who they would be.
With the new century, my spouse decided I no longer was his choice as a life partner. I kept drifting from the propaganda of my youth. Nothing made sense.
Needless to say, I found myself alone, with children either in college or preparing to go to college, and unsure of the world at the midpoint of life. The world became fueled by unfettered news and social media.
Today I find myself more isolated than ever from what surrounds me. People who claim to be caring and of faith act out in ways that belie their words. Yet, they insist I am the one not in tune with what's important.
I wept as I read your lament. What happened to the way we never were? We wanted to be the good guys, didn't we? Or did we?
My adult children and their families are near, but I have never been further from others than I am now. Damn, I had hoped things would improve. I don't see it.
I feel exactly the same. Greed is probably the biggest single driver, but more broadly I’d say it’s misplaced values (which obviously includes greed). Tribalism, notoriety, superiority are some examples. We’ve made progress in many areas and regressed in others, and I think there’s some hope that the cyclical nature of these things will keep us from total devolution. Just like we didn’t see this coming maybe we can’t see the positive change ahead. Can’t say I’m optimistic, but I do believe it’s possible.
I'm lucky. I live in a nice town (not unlike a smaller version of Savannah, in fact). My house, that my wife and I bought, is on a quiet street in a nice neighborhood with nice neighbors who don't seem to mind my drumming at like 9 in the morning. I have a good job within a career that I enjoy. I'm married to a wonderful, giving, generous and kind person. I get to play music and travel and eat delicious food. I have dogs and cats that are silly and ridiculous and a joy and a huge pain the ass, all at the same time.
All in all, pretty ideal, and yet I definitely share your sense of doom and foreboding. It's hard not to see things getting significantly worse in the coming years. And that's after things have already gotten significantly worse.
My wife thinks this country is lost, that we should move away. I don't necessarily disagree, but...well, things aren't going well abroad either. Beyond that, however, it's not fair to have to give up our lives on our quiet street in our small town just because a bunch of misguided people blame their problems on brown people, Jews and LGBTQIA+ folks. It also doesn't feel great to contemplate leaving rather than staying to fight for what we believe is right.
Thank you, again, for articulating these fears and anxieties so well, and for making us feel less alone.
Lots of people say, "I love this country," without really having any idea what it means. I think it is just a result of that false American Exceptionalism all of us white kids grew up with--and I say "white kids" because I am not sure any other race feels that "exceptionalism."
Your friend says, "look it up" because she is just repeating some phrase she heard someone somewhere say. It is not her original thought or belief but another serious problem we, in this country, have. Let us use the large brain that evolution has given us (oh, now, THERE is a confrontational statement, eh?) and think for ourselves. Let us pick at the details; if details are missing, let us go find them. We must start calling out these narrow-minded people and not let them slide.
Then let us not associate with the Look It Up clan; they are not worthy.
So well said. This is a constant source of conversation in my house--we can pinpoint what's wrong, but we're hard-pressed to figure out how to get everything/everyone back on track. Lest we get too nostalgic for what used to be, it begs the question--we ever truly on track? Look at the Camelot days, full of promise as we prepped to head to the moon, yet we still had Americans who weren't welcome to sit at the same lunch counter. Refer to any of the "good old days" eras and there was perpetually something awry. I wonder if our trajectory as a country wasn't always about 1% off, which doesn't matter much in the beginning, but the farther along you go, the farther you veer from the original destination.
I agree. I am a cradle Catholic who was raised on the belief of “original sin”. I always felt that the definition (we are all born with the ability to sin) was lacking. Now I see our original sin is greed. At some point in evolution it was essential to survival. I believe it’s in our DNA and in order to get beyond our ancestors we must work hard to not let it take over. Plus, in the end it is not fulfilling.
Capitalism breeds greed. In the last several years the guard rails have been unchecked and in some cases removed.
I think social media plays a role too and that is why I’ve consciously moved to not spend as much time there and I certainly don’t engage very much.
But I still follow you because I like your insight and your humor. Hope that helps a little.
1980s greed, or fear? The same fear that drives Trump supporter, even if the reasons for fear difer.
America the country is rich, it's citizens aren't.
Beautifully written, and utterly depressing. Happy Hanukkah!
Loving our country like loving a relative with dementia is thought provoking and unfortunately accurate given the front runners for our presidential election.
typo: "Santa Barbera"
Fuzzy senescence? Are you talking about the only president ever to get a climate bill passed? The guy who got Kevin McCarthy to agree to suspend the debt ceiling and pass a budget extension, then got Mike Johnson to do the same thing McCarthy was ousted for? I wish I was senescent like that!
Not to be sanguine, but in the early 1930s things looked just as intractable, unsolvable, and stacked. Then an enormous new wind blew. No guarantee that will happen again and in the same way and in the same direction, but America does have that capacity. And when just about no one expects it.
You are absolutely right though to be thinking these things, writing about them, and feeling deep concern.
Yeah but the wind was a world war
I was thinking more the New Deal, but yes by the end of the decade fascists got in the way.
Wow! I typed that because just an hour ago I expressed the same thoughts with a therapist. Almost word for word in some places.
I am older than you. Many decades ago I became concerned about what I witnessed and felt about America. Maybe I began to take stock of things after watching the film Wall Street. It seems uneasiness began to gnaw at me around that time. Something was off. I sensed my peers became absorbed in acquiring and viewing others as "less than."
Being the parent of small children I panicked within myself. Reaganonics had grasped the headlines. People whom I had loved began to express opinions antithetical to my worldview. Paralysis set in. The rearing of my children and making a decent living took over my thoughts and actions. The tides seemed against me. I put on blinders.
Throughout the 90s I began to pull away from those who had been friends. Volunteering filled the gaps. My spouse slowly migrated to another view of the world. The children were coming into their own trying to discover who they would be.
With the new century, my spouse decided I no longer was his choice as a life partner. I kept drifting from the propaganda of my youth. Nothing made sense.
Needless to say, I found myself alone, with children either in college or preparing to go to college, and unsure of the world at the midpoint of life. The world became fueled by unfettered news and social media.
Today I find myself more isolated than ever from what surrounds me. People who claim to be caring and of faith act out in ways that belie their words. Yet, they insist I am the one not in tune with what's important.
I wept as I read your lament. What happened to the way we never were? We wanted to be the good guys, didn't we? Or did we?
My adult children and their families are near, but I have never been further from others than I am now. Damn, I had hoped things would improve. I don't see it.
Thanks for sharing your concerns. They are mine.
Bless you Kay.
Have a hug from England ...
I feel exactly the same. Greed is probably the biggest single driver, but more broadly I’d say it’s misplaced values (which obviously includes greed). Tribalism, notoriety, superiority are some examples. We’ve made progress in many areas and regressed in others, and I think there’s some hope that the cyclical nature of these things will keep us from total devolution. Just like we didn’t see this coming maybe we can’t see the positive change ahead. Can’t say I’m optimistic, but I do believe it’s possible.
We hope…hope springs eternal for our children and grandkids lives in the future USA.
I'm lucky. I live in a nice town (not unlike a smaller version of Savannah, in fact). My house, that my wife and I bought, is on a quiet street in a nice neighborhood with nice neighbors who don't seem to mind my drumming at like 9 in the morning. I have a good job within a career that I enjoy. I'm married to a wonderful, giving, generous and kind person. I get to play music and travel and eat delicious food. I have dogs and cats that are silly and ridiculous and a joy and a huge pain the ass, all at the same time.
All in all, pretty ideal, and yet I definitely share your sense of doom and foreboding. It's hard not to see things getting significantly worse in the coming years. And that's after things have already gotten significantly worse.
My wife thinks this country is lost, that we should move away. I don't necessarily disagree, but...well, things aren't going well abroad either. Beyond that, however, it's not fair to have to give up our lives on our quiet street in our small town just because a bunch of misguided people blame their problems on brown people, Jews and LGBTQIA+ folks. It also doesn't feel great to contemplate leaving rather than staying to fight for what we believe is right.
Thank you, again, for articulating these fears and anxieties so well, and for making us feel less alone.
Brother drummer here that shares these same feelings with my wife, who tolerates said drumming.
Mr. Black often makes me feel more less alone with his ruminations.
I kinda love the phrase "more less alone"...
Your job is done here, then. I mean, I just added the word "more" to your phrase "less alone". Dual Drumming can be productive!
Lots of people say, "I love this country," without really having any idea what it means. I think it is just a result of that false American Exceptionalism all of us white kids grew up with--and I say "white kids" because I am not sure any other race feels that "exceptionalism."
Your friend says, "look it up" because she is just repeating some phrase she heard someone somewhere say. It is not her original thought or belief but another serious problem we, in this country, have. Let us use the large brain that evolution has given us (oh, now, THERE is a confrontational statement, eh?) and think for ourselves. Let us pick at the details; if details are missing, let us go find them. We must start calling out these narrow-minded people and not let them slide.
Then let us not associate with the Look It Up clan; they are not worthy.
So well said. This is a constant source of conversation in my house--we can pinpoint what's wrong, but we're hard-pressed to figure out how to get everything/everyone back on track. Lest we get too nostalgic for what used to be, it begs the question--we ever truly on track? Look at the Camelot days, full of promise as we prepped to head to the moon, yet we still had Americans who weren't welcome to sit at the same lunch counter. Refer to any of the "good old days" eras and there was perpetually something awry. I wonder if our trajectory as a country wasn't always about 1% off, which doesn't matter much in the beginning, but the farther along you go, the farther you veer from the original destination.
I agree. I am a cradle Catholic who was raised on the belief of “original sin”. I always felt that the definition (we are all born with the ability to sin) was lacking. Now I see our original sin is greed. At some point in evolution it was essential to survival. I believe it’s in our DNA and in order to get beyond our ancestors we must work hard to not let it take over. Plus, in the end it is not fulfilling.
Capitalism breeds greed. In the last several years the guard rails have been unchecked and in some cases removed.
I think social media plays a role too and that is why I’ve consciously moved to not spend as much time there and I certainly don’t engage very much.
But I still follow you because I like your insight and your humor. Hope that helps a little.
santa barbara*
Corrected!
I still see it:
New York, LA, Santa Barbera,