6 Comments

We just lost my grandmother who was 103. Looking back at videos and pictures of her is painful, but I wouldn’t give up the experience for the world. It’s like she’s not really gone. So in a way it’s comforting, while still being painful if that makes sense. In general, I feel like I’m a nostalgic person. I spend a lot of time thinking about things that have happened and being grateful for them. I also spend time regretting things too, obviously, but trips to Disney and hanging out at the beach make up a lot of my happy memories and I spend a lot of time there in those memories. I think for me part of this is that I have such great anxiety about the future that I find comfort in the past.

Expand full comment

Seems like I need to spend A LOT more time at Disney. Very sorry about your grandmother.

Expand full comment

I'm so nostalgic sometimes it feels like a character flaw. But over time, I've realized that it's part of trying to understand myself. Why some decisions I was afraid to make ended up being good, and why others were darkly, hilariously bad. Example: When Dana and I got together 23 years ago this month, many things about the situation felt like we were both making a series of very bad decisions. Yet now they look like unexpectedly great ones, and I do a lot of mental rummaging around to try and figure out how I stumbled into a life I always wanted to have, (at least most of it; I'd still like to have a lot more money than I do). It's qualified, though. I have tons of nostalgia for my childhood and my family, and I still try to understand who I was in that context, but at the same time, losing two siblings and my mom has turned that sort of nostalgia into something I keep at arm's length.

So...I don't know. I'm okay with my tendency toward nostalgia and accept that it's just part of how I'm made, and there's a good side to it for me--gaining perspective on my life now. I think many people may be nostalgic for similar reasons--seeking understanding, context, self-knowledge, and insight. That said, with the deaths of loved ones and friends, going back to my best friend's death when I was 18, nostalgia becomes much more complex and even something I make a conscious effort to avoid, sometimes.

Expand full comment

This is how I experience large extended family interactions. Everyone wants to reminisce and bathe in the memories, while I have no interest and in fact withdraw from the conversation. It’s unsettling.

Expand full comment

Lovely contemplation. I may know why you’d rescue the photos- you would be rescuing your wife, whose memories are stored in them. And maybe a part of you holds close to your past as a father of small children. Our histories are always complicated.

Expand full comment
Comment deleted
July 7, 2023Edited
Comment deleted
Expand full comment

Whoa, whoa, whoa - you're acting like I read the article. I DID NOT!

Expand full comment