I had dental phobia since childhood, and eventually found a dentist who administered IV Valium for cleanings and check-ups. It was great, until he closed his office and moved to a Caribbean island.
Then I found a dentist who was terribly kind and gradually earned my trust, no aids required, not even Nitrous Oxide. After many years, he retired during COVID.
Not to be a Debbie Downer, but my wonderful periodontist took his own life, and I learned that there is a significant suicide rate in the dental profession. So it's not easy for them either.
Buck up, grow up, put up but don’t shut up. This is a funny post! Since I know you are not an enemy of the truth or facts, the reality is that dental health correlates very highly with overall medical health, especially in the later years of adulthood. You can look it up.
The hygienist told me my teeth were very clean and my gums are healthy. I hate (loathe) going to the dentist. In fact the giggling young dentist said she found two small cavities. That will be $600, mam. Additionally, they are not participants with my dental insurance! Of course I don’t believe her. My dentist from another state told me 6 months ago my teeth were just fine. Of course I believed him. My daughter who is a hygienist told me to get another opinion. I’m going by to get a copy of my record and X-rays. Did I tell you I hate the dentist!
My favorite movie dentist is Walter Matthau in Cactus Flower with Ingrid Bergman as his nurse. He’s a dick of a dentist, so fits with the theme, but she’s fabulous as is a very young Goldie Hawn! Such a great movie!
this is fun: "In fact, there’s a good chance they’ll have me killed today for speaking out. I’m going to the dentist today. If I don’t make it back, you know why."
thank you for sharing what may very well be your final newsletter!
I had a hard time regularly flossing until I started keeping my floss stick (not string!) by the couch. Then just floss while watching a good tv show! You’ll barely even noticing you’re flossing.
There’s also the combination of expense (since dental “insurance” has a max payout and so it really more like a gift card than real insurance) and the judgment (since everything they need to do is presumed to be due to your own negligence).
It’s always “Here’s a bill for $2300, and frankly I’m disgusted that you’ve made me do this to you.”
Do this to avoid dentists: 1.) Ban sugar from your diet; and 2.) Floss daily. You floss to prevent a heart attack, caused by bacteria hiding between your teeth. Seriously. I hate all dentists, even the "good" ones. (If you eliminate sugar, you'll never get another cavity. Sugar is not now, and has never been a necessary part of the human diet, according to the highly google-able Robert Lustig. There was no tooth decay before sugar was invented.)
I too have had my share of cavities, root canals, and all sorts of dental problems. A few years ago, however, I finally found an amazing dental practice with legitimately gentle hygienists and dentists. They actually exist!
Broad generalization: I work in real estate near a prominent medical school and deal with a lot of property owners who are also dentists. Dentists (not all, but a large portion) are the rudest, most entitled mother fuckers on the planet. I've considered not taking on any clients who come from the dental school but I'm not sure how that fits into my state's code of ethics for real estate brokers. Unsurprisingly, they are also whiny babies when something does not go their way. I've never met a more precious group of humans.
I'm happy to have my teeth taken care of and grateful for the resource but, lord, are these people miserable. As I've come to understand, it takes a certain je ne sais quoi to become a dentist and I think a big part of that indescribable quality is having an ambient distaste of everything around you all the time.
If I put on my compassionate hat, I can see that their general rude dispositions are rooted in fear but I have no idea what that general fear might be amongst a large group of professionals. Cavities? A.I. teeth? Running out of sharp hooks to poke gums with?
Also, my dentist is fine but he sure as hell does not pretend to be gentle.
I won’t shame you, but if my husband finally started flossing at the age of 65, there’s still hope for you yet. Honestly, I like going to the dentist, because I love having clean, plaque free teeth and I intend to keep all of them, with the exception of the extracted “wisdom” teeth removed when I was 23 by a new young dentist who gave me only laughing gas and then delighted in showing me each extracted tooth, bloody root and all. That guy was a sicko. All the others have been professional.
If you become more diligent in your daily dental care, cleanings are much less intensive because you’ve prevented what they are scraping off your teeth. And better still, you also require fewer restorative procedures because, again, you have prevented the deterioration of your teeth by practicing better dental care. Get used to that “fresh from the dentist” clean, and maintain it at home. If you’re not sure what to do better, ask your dental hygienist. Oh, and going for quarterly cleanings is even better.
My dentist is also my running partner and my friend. It’s pretty shocking. Turns out that dentists are people too!
I had dental phobia since childhood, and eventually found a dentist who administered IV Valium for cleanings and check-ups. It was great, until he closed his office and moved to a Caribbean island.
Then I found a dentist who was terribly kind and gradually earned my trust, no aids required, not even Nitrous Oxide. After many years, he retired during COVID.
Not to be a Debbie Downer, but my wonderful periodontist took his own life, and I learned that there is a significant suicide rate in the dental profession. So it's not easy for them either.
I never picked you for an anti-dentite, Michael...
Buck up, grow up, put up but don’t shut up. This is a funny post! Since I know you are not an enemy of the truth or facts, the reality is that dental health correlates very highly with overall medical health, especially in the later years of adulthood. You can look it up.
Ohmygoodness, Michael. Same, same, same!!
Wonderful essay.
The hygienist told me my teeth were very clean and my gums are healthy. I hate (loathe) going to the dentist. In fact the giggling young dentist said she found two small cavities. That will be $600, mam. Additionally, they are not participants with my dental insurance! Of course I don’t believe her. My dentist from another state told me 6 months ago my teeth were just fine. Of course I believed him. My daughter who is a hygienist told me to get another opinion. I’m going by to get a copy of my record and X-rays. Did I tell you I hate the dentist!
My favorite movie dentist is Walter Matthau in Cactus Flower with Ingrid Bergman as his nurse. He’s a dick of a dentist, so fits with the theme, but she’s fabulous as is a very young Goldie Hawn! Such a great movie!
dear michael,
this is fun: "In fact, there’s a good chance they’ll have me killed today for speaking out. I’m going to the dentist today. If I don’t make it back, you know why."
thank you for sharing what may very well be your final newsletter!
much love
myq
I had a hard time regularly flossing until I started keeping my floss stick (not string!) by the couch. Then just floss while watching a good tv show! You’ll barely even noticing you’re flossing.
Flossers are great!
There’s also the combination of expense (since dental “insurance” has a max payout and so it really more like a gift card than real insurance) and the judgment (since everything they need to do is presumed to be due to your own negligence).
It’s always “Here’s a bill for $2300, and frankly I’m disgusted that you’ve made me do this to you.”
Do this to avoid dentists: 1.) Ban sugar from your diet; and 2.) Floss daily. You floss to prevent a heart attack, caused by bacteria hiding between your teeth. Seriously. I hate all dentists, even the "good" ones. (If you eliminate sugar, you'll never get another cavity. Sugar is not now, and has never been a necessary part of the human diet, according to the highly google-able Robert Lustig. There was no tooth decay before sugar was invented.)
And, of course, when your mouth looks like a hardware shop, the dentist decides to be chatty and asks lots of questions.
I too have had my share of cavities, root canals, and all sorts of dental problems. A few years ago, however, I finally found an amazing dental practice with legitimately gentle hygienists and dentists. They actually exist!
I had the best dentist ever for 2 decades, and she retired last year. I only wish dentists didn't age!
Broad generalization: I work in real estate near a prominent medical school and deal with a lot of property owners who are also dentists. Dentists (not all, but a large portion) are the rudest, most entitled mother fuckers on the planet. I've considered not taking on any clients who come from the dental school but I'm not sure how that fits into my state's code of ethics for real estate brokers. Unsurprisingly, they are also whiny babies when something does not go their way. I've never met a more precious group of humans.
I'm happy to have my teeth taken care of and grateful for the resource but, lord, are these people miserable. As I've come to understand, it takes a certain je ne sais quoi to become a dentist and I think a big part of that indescribable quality is having an ambient distaste of everything around you all the time.
If I put on my compassionate hat, I can see that their general rude dispositions are rooted in fear but I have no idea what that general fear might be amongst a large group of professionals. Cavities? A.I. teeth? Running out of sharp hooks to poke gums with?
Also, my dentist is fine but he sure as hell does not pretend to be gentle.
Signed,
Not a fan, but willing to be convinced.
I won’t shame you, but if my husband finally started flossing at the age of 65, there’s still hope for you yet. Honestly, I like going to the dentist, because I love having clean, plaque free teeth and I intend to keep all of them, with the exception of the extracted “wisdom” teeth removed when I was 23 by a new young dentist who gave me only laughing gas and then delighted in showing me each extracted tooth, bloody root and all. That guy was a sicko. All the others have been professional.
If you become more diligent in your daily dental care, cleanings are much less intensive because you’ve prevented what they are scraping off your teeth. And better still, you also require fewer restorative procedures because, again, you have prevented the deterioration of your teeth by practicing better dental care. Get used to that “fresh from the dentist” clean, and maintain it at home. If you’re not sure what to do better, ask your dental hygienist. Oh, and going for quarterly cleanings is even better.