Yesterday, Martha and I drove from our home to Savannah to Nashville. My sketch comedy troupe, The State, is performing here on Monday so we decided to road trip the seven plus hours. From the time we left the driveway, the trip was a disaster. First, Martha forgot her phone. Ordinarily, this wouldn’t be too much of a problem because I forbid her from talking to anybody without my permission, but as it happens, I am flying to Austin on Tuesday and Martha is driving home. We own a Tesla, which uses the phone as a key. So we had to call our son to send the phone overnight, annoying but hardly disastrous.
My sister rented a car to drive three hours to Tallahassee Florida. They gave her an electric car. Because it was very hot out the battery drained very quickly. There are not many charging stations between our little city and Tallahassee. She had to stop in charge three separate times. It was a eight hour trip. She and I are about as leftward leaning as we can be, but she is never ever ever going to get a purely electric car because of that experience lol.
Sipping my morning coffee, looking at my partner, reading this and - welp - there were a few laugh out loud nose spews. And he still likes me! Thank you!!
I’ve been having a frustrating couple of days with my husband of 34 years. Your piece resonates a lot. Also I have been annoyed with the coverage of OJ’s death - nearly every article has been titled “football great “ blah blah when the fucker was a domestic abuser and double murderer. I think his football career pales next to his savage crimes.
If it would come to that, I would understand .
My sister rented a car to drive three hours to Tallahassee Florida. They gave her an electric car. Because it was very hot out the battery drained very quickly. There are not many charging stations between our little city and Tallahassee. She had to stop in charge three separate times. It was a eight hour trip. She and I are about as leftward leaning as we can be, but she is never ever ever going to get a purely electric car because of that experience lol.
Your SUNGLASSES???
Ever been diagnosed with IBS? Trying to be delicate, but let's just say a certain leaky part of this sounded uncomfortably familiar.
This… is quite relatable. Also, thanks for giving me more reasons to avoid the Tesla!
You’ve been married how many decades and you’re still holding in farts. This is a superhuman level of uxoriousness.
Your writing is--and I guess, by proxy, you are--really a treasure!
OY VEY !
And this is why I will keep reading whatever you write. A gem. I’ll be smiling for days. Maybe you could turn this road trip into a tv miniseries!
I’m sorry for your day and I’m blaming the lack of game in your Pumas.
Sipping my morning coffee, looking at my partner, reading this and - welp - there were a few laugh out loud nose spews. And he still likes me! Thank you!!
I laughed out loud 🤣. What did the underpants do. The trip was enjoyable though. I could picture 📸 in my mind.
dear michael,
this is a delightful piece! i'm sorry all of this happened to you and i'm glad you shared it with all of us!
i particularly like this sentence: "Maybe my butt was having night sweats yesterday?"
but all the other sentences are great also.
love you, happy that you're married!
love
myq
This was so great. I laughed out loud multiple times. Did you consider just throwing out the underwear though? I think that’s what I would have done.
I’ve been having a frustrating couple of days with my husband of 34 years. Your piece resonates a lot. Also I have been annoyed with the coverage of OJ’s death - nearly every article has been titled “football great “ blah blah when the fucker was a domestic abuser and double murderer. I think his football career pales next to his savage crimes.
Your assignment while in Nashville: Venture outside into the lint trap of humanity that is Lower Broad and then return to discuss.