I was reading this in a coffee shop (not a Starbucks) across from a young pastoral couple counseling their poorer parishioners, and you, Michael, have made me seem very very rude.
"The Associated Press has apparently retracted a fact-check published yesterday with the headline, “No, JD Vance did not have sex with a couch.” As of Thursday morning, the article page displayed a “page unavailable” error message."
Truly funny man! Shit. A funny scene comes to mind - picturing a chubby young Vance secretly watching a certain episode of Chappelle Show concerning Rick James’ dirty boots and forming his mastur plan.
I seem to recall you mentioning that you have a fainting couch in every room. Did JD Vance ever visit your home? Did he perhaps betray your trust and have his way with one of them? Did you tip off the press as an act of revenge?
LOFL! Mike. This couchfucking post might your best entry ever based on the sole merits of expertly putting dingus and chesterfield in the same sentence. Well said, good sir. :D
I was reading this in a coffee shop (not a Starbucks) across from a young pastoral couple counseling their poorer parishioners, and you, Michael, have made me seem very very rude.
"The Associated Press has apparently retracted a fact-check published yesterday with the headline, “No, JD Vance did not have sex with a couch.” As of Thursday morning, the article page displayed a “page unavailable” error message."
https://www.theverge.com/2024/7/25/24206088/jd-vance-fact-check-sex-couch-rumor-associated-press-retraction
I never in my life thought I would read an article about couch sex that includes mention of Norman Rockwell and his artwork. Well done!
His prom date did!
https://open.substack.com/pub/theinkling/p/jd-vances-prom-date-jennifer-convertibles?r=2vt53q&utm_medium=ios
Truly funny man! Shit. A funny scene comes to mind - picturing a chubby young Vance secretly watching a certain episode of Chappelle Show concerning Rick James’ dirty boots and forming his mastur plan.
I seem to recall you mentioning that you have a fainting couch in every room. Did JD Vance ever visit your home? Did he perhaps betray your trust and have his way with one of them? Did you tip off the press as an act of revenge?
God I hope so.
We will sponsor you. We need every detail and perhaps a repeat or replay. Any way, Republican is what it is
LOFL! Mike. This couchfucking post might your best entry ever based on the sole merits of expertly putting dingus and chesterfield in the same sentence. Well said, good sir. :D
This is hilarious! And he definitely looks like a couch fucker!
This is sofasexually brilliant!
I’m surprised no one has asked what the couch was wearing. Progress, maybe?
Or was protection for the couch used? Condom? Did a matching loveseat or recliner result of this alleged relationship? We have questions, Michael.
You’re asking AN AWFUL LOT from a self-proclaimed Hillbilly in this column, sir. Is nothing sacred?
If it happened once, it’ll happen again.
One question: how attractive was said alleged couch ? Instead of the tired old 1-10 scale, go binary. Yes/no.
How’d you follow that thread for that long w/o using the word “davenport”?
Hidden subtext and memories found in Satire subtext :)
That's sofa king JD Vance ... 😏
They simply ARE not funny. (The couch fucking rumors.)